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Character: Dirk "Bro" Strider
Fandom: ~~Brostuck-~~ I mean Homestuck
Player Name: Meowzy

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[There comes a time in every person’s life where they have to sit down and wonder what the fuck just happened. Bro has reached that moment. He would sit down, where it not for the fact that he just awoke lying on his back. No choice but to sit up, then. Not the same dramatic effect, but it’ll do. So he sits right in the middle of the Plaza, crossing his legs in a sort of lotus position.

Everything's a bit of a muddled mess. The kind of haze matched by a hangover, minus the throbbing headache and queasiness. There is a questionable taste in Bro’s mouth, but he’ll attribute that one to thirst. He hasn’t had a decent drink since he entered the Medium. He’d been doing pretty damn well for himself in there. He’d been up against the final goddamn boss, that douche known as Jack Noir. Lil Cal had been there, Dave had been there (sort of) and they were beating the shit out of that motherfucker, Strider style. Things were as sweet as could be. Except for that moment where Jack had gotten one more power-up and somewhere in the fray, Bro had lost his grip on his sword. That one’d cost him dearly.

Fade to fucking black, and suddenly he awoke here. No Lil Cal, no Davesprite, nothing.

His hand strays to his chest, as he distinctly remembers getting impaled, but there’s nothing there. Just his usual badass abs. In one fluid sweep, he removes his baseball cap so he can run a hand through his moist hair. Did he have an extra life? No, that’s not how the ‘game’ works, he’s pretty sure.

He lost. He went up against the big bad and he lost. His mouth opens to utter a single word.]

Fuck.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[ Oh, okay, He will do that! He loves being loud so much. ]}

Dirk!! I asked you, why the devilshits are you an old man!?

[Oh. Oh wow. Touché, Jake. Touché.

Bro takes a deep breath through his nose and moves to get to his feet. Only problem is, he moves so fast that he pretty much turns into a blur. In less than a second's time, he's already standing behind Jake.]

I'm thirty-three. Last I checked, I don't qualify for a seniors bus pass yet.

_{[ Oh okay. You are Dirk cause he does that stuff all the time.
Jake instantly jumps and turns around, instinct to put up his fists. Isn't that just too cute.

Huffing, he stands on his tiptoes, trying to measure them up. ]}

Good God, you are enormous too! Old and enormous.
What the hell happened?

[This is both sad and kind of endearing. Like a puppy biting its own tail. Bro can't quite keep the smirk off his face anymore. If this kid is going to insist he's old, he might as well play along.]

I ate my veggies every day like a good boy. When parents say you need 'm to get big, they ain't lyin'.

_{[ Okay, well, He thinks you are the same actual Dirk that he knows, so he is just going to assume that! One time he found Dirk and he was a little kid. All sorts of weird things happen here.
Jake finally wipes blood off of his nose. ]}

How long are you going to remain in this old state? Sometime, huh?
Does this mean you will begin to have an interest in older women? Or men, whichever.
I mean, I'm too young for you now!

_{[ Looks like he is bringing up a conversation that took place earlier and being awkward about it as par usual.
Jake, sweetie. Stop. ]}

[There's something vaguely familiar about the way Jake is rambling in that accent of his. There's also something vaguely familiar about the hair. And the teeth. And the glasses. ... It couldn't be.]

So you are! Hey, it ain't like you wanna be seen with an old man like me anyway, right?

Aw, capital! Good on you for taking this easy. I was not precisely sure what to say after our little chinwag we had there a few days ago. You said you would be back, but I did not think it would be this soon, and I also did not think you would be a hag!
Can I say that or that only appropriate for a lady?

No matter.
This means that I suppose you have made your decision not to be my paramour which is quite alright. I will get over it in no time because I have some astounding news.
Apparently Jane likes me and she has the entire time. Poor girl. Here she is listening to me spout off all my romancing predicaments and taking it with a grain of salt. What a gal.

I am but a shy of being heartbroken, my good sir, but it is alright considering I have found myself a rebound.

So no hard feelings, right?

Edited 2013-02-13 03:14 (UTC)

[As Jake rambles on and on, Bro just nods. His lips are still curled into a grin, but by the time the word "heartbroken" is dropped, he's fighting an incredible fight not to burst out laughing. Oh, the urge to guffaw is so damn great.

Keep it cool, Strider. Keep it cool.

When he responds, he can't stop himself from adding an overly-stuffy British accent to his words. This is an opportunity he can't pass up.]

No hard feelings, my good man! All is forgiven. I can understand being heartbroken over a delicious slab of veal like myself, so I will applaud you in your venture to acquire a rebound partner. Good on you. And if it's not too much of a trifle, I would so dearly appreciate it if you could refer to me as Bro in the future, as I do prefer that title over my given name.

_{[ Oh that was weird. Jake never heard Dirk wanting to be referred to as that. Something just was not right here. ]}

Uhm. Bro? I do not realy understand.
But alright.

Are you certain you are okay with these turn of events? I always thought of you as a sensitive type. Gosh, I was expecting us to go at it and get into a fight maybe.
You are not feeling, uhm, sort of upset about it? I mean, even if it is your choice, I was offering us to have another shot.
_{[ He wants to make sure he is not the only one here, especially since they had talked about their problems and found a solution too.]}

[Sensitive? Bro has never considered himself sensitive. A loner, yes. An underdog, yes. But sensitive?]

Kid, hate to break it to you, but you've got me confused with a different Strider. The kinda Strider who gave it a shot in the first place.

_{[ Oh.

.. ]}

Oh.

_{[ ... ]}

Well, this is embarrassing.
You look just like him though!
Anime spects and everything.

_{[ He pronounces it "anee-mee" just so you know. ]}

[There's another almost-cringe from Bro.]

And here I always thought I was one of a fucking kind. So how about you enlighten me and gimme your name?

You can call me Jake!
English, I suppose is my last name. Though it's always been a mystery to my why it is I was named after an unstoppable demon in prophesy.
I think my grandmother did it out of spite.

..Are you certain in your wits you aren't Dirk Strider?
Do I need to jog your memory of how we're best friends?

[Jake English... English... Very odd. There might be a relation to the Harleys somewhere. Unless... Hm. Named after an unstoppable demon, huh?

Yeahhh, Bro gets the feeling he's missing a pretty big piece of the puzzle, here.]

I told ya, it's Bro. Bro Strider. I don't give a rat's ass what my passport says and my memory's as good as it's always been. Only Jake I know is Jake Harley, and he ain't you. [He isn't even really that close to old man Harley. Like, they've spoken on rare occasions and Bro's admired his huge ship (and cracked jokes about it), but that's about it.]

I wonder if he is related to my pen pal! Her last name is Harley, uhm.
I don't know.

My apologies I spouted all of that off to you.
I guess this means Dirk is still missing and we are still in this queer love limbo.

Siiiigh.

In any case, I don't guess you're related to the famous movie director who put out those Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff films.
Because I met him! Well, younger him. He's presently in this vicinity.

[Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff films, what...? That sounds like it has a lot of potential. Now he's curious whether it's ironic internet flash movies or actual Hollywood films. Honestly, "famous movie director" could mean either one in Bro's book.

Wait, that's not what's important here.]

Yeah? So who is this famous movie director?